and so it goes on...

so it did not work for my voice disorder... greatly disappointing, mainly because I made that long trip and the doctor knew the massage would not work for me, but life goes on.

If you change the f in life to k it is like... like life. good one...

Came to terms with it with the help of one large margarita in the hotel bar that evening. And the next day I got to meet one of my kitty MamaCats. Obi's MC. That was so much fun! Would not have missed that for anything. 

I am very thankful that I have nothing else wrong with me at 60 years of youngness. I can live without my real voice. You do not want to hear me singing with the radio though. But I do!

I am giving up a little bit of caffeine for alcohol as I think that is a wise decision on my part as I am my own doctor. So far it is a great decision.

Oh my Cats! They were so happy to see me as I was them. I dropped my bags on the floor and hugged each of them. Things are back to normal... chasing flys and moths... treats and snacks... and the cats are busy too!

Much love out!
Deb 

My Voice

I was diagnosed with a vocal disorder called spasmodic dysphonia around five years ago. It has made a dramatic difference in my life. 

Never realized the importance of communication until this time. I can't place drive-through food orders, talk to anyone behind a counter, or use the phone to visit with friends and family, or to call for service on anything. I try instead to go to websites with emails to request assistance. I withdraw from conversations and from groups of people. My young friend Jade taught me facebook and I have truly enjoyed that form of communication.

This disorder is embarrassing and awkward. People for the most part are patient and understanding. When they are not, I try harder to speak and I have even more difficulty. 

Earlier this year, a good friend said they watched ABC's 20/20 and saw a woman with my disorder and a doctor restored her voice. We looked it up on the internet and watched it... I began crying. I have researched and saved up and now have an appointment with that doctor at the Cleveland Clinic in Cleveland Ohio on November 22, 2011.

If I can add a video to this Blog you can listen to my voice now. Not sure how to do that though. 

I am driving to Dallas DFW this Sunday morning and flying to Cleveland. I am excited and nervous. If my voice is not restored, I can live with this, but I would like to have "me" back. I miss talking with my son and I want to talk to my new grandbaby boy. 

Many prayers have been sent up on my behalf on my facebook and my cat Platelicker's facebook page. I love seeing prayers answered and I want to be one of the answered prayers.  


So here I go about to begin anew. And yes... I shall again dance everyday and blush...

 

60 How'd I make it here?

If you told me I'd at 40 I'd live to be 60, I would have disagreed.

60 came and I am now a week into it. Can't say as I feel differently. Or am any the wiser. Although I profess to be. 

At 10, I was happy to be in double digits and could not wait for 20.

20, I was puzzled by the big world and the life I was starting.

30, came easily enough but with heavy burdens for my small shoulders to carry.

40, all I remember is my co-worker girls gave me a purse. New one. I always bought from Goodwill and carried a purse until... well my co-workers could not look at it any longer :) 

50, pretty good. Enjoyed those years a great deal. The big life rush suddenly got slower and more enjoyable. 

Then now 60, I have to say I am fine with 60. My son is a wonderful young man. He is a new Daddy now. I am a new Gran.... let's just call me MC... I may be 60, but I am not a grand anything. MC most describes me. MamaCat to my 10 kitty family. Little one can call me MC too :)

I have lovely friends and furriends. My life is filled with blessings. I now more understand... "my cup runneth over"...

I am going to dive into 60 with enthusiasm. Already started. First weekend I took myself out twice for special treats. This weekend my best friend, Lynne, and I went out for a cool beverage and shared a fine steak.

Most what I want to do is laugh and love life. Love and care for my friends. Watch my tiny grandson grow and learn. Enjoy my kitties. I always do :) Travel to new places in this beautiful world. And put my best toward being a better human being to the people I know and meet. 


I think in the end, it will be nice to be remembered by others with a smile :)


Remember to Dance Everyday and Blush...

Loss of a loved cat

We, if fortunate, have that special bond with a few of our kitties in our lives that are dearer than words can express. When they leave our lives we live with the sadness of longing for them once again. 

There is something between you and that special cat where words would not express the conversation flowing between the two of you. The eyes speak. It is a feeling between the two of you that has been formed eons ago. It is a love-love relationship. Only kindness and caring for each other. 

Sweet kitty's soft paw touching your face as you are drifting off to sleep while listening to that special quiet melodic purring.

He is not like a regular cat that you love. He makes up a part that is missing. Whatever that might be.

Although we have become more tenderhearted because of our brief time with our babies, we don't recognize that fact, we simply mourn.

We, can only go on and love more deeply than before. They knew. They know now.

I will always think of my sweet purrboy and remember the look on his face that spoke volumes to me. Rest in peace sweet one. Surely I will hold you again one day.

If you are lonesome for your special kitty cat, stop and remember them and give yourself a break from your sorrow and smile.  

German Router

Got your attention. Last January I bought a wireless router but could not configure it, so returned it. Still using the Dynex. Think the Monday morning storm knocked it out. Or so suggests Suddenclink tech man Henry. He also said there was outside chatter. I said is it the birds? He laughed and said he did not think so. I said well then I don’t hear any outside chatter but it is rather early. 

I told him that I did not like lots of wires. He seemed understanding although I do not believe he really gave a leaky dam. He was not aware that lots of wires fahreeks me out! I go into a la-la-like stage. My brain gets muddled. Time slows down. Time speeds up. Life seems to be a total loss. I find dust I did not know was there upon the wires. Is that is where I lost my bracelet. Then I become distracted from the wires. Lots of Wires Survival Mode I call it. LWSM. At this point I could not make cereal if my life depended on it.

I asked him if I should buy a new router. He said he could not tell me that. I said then why did I ask you. I need to know. 

Honestly, the plugging and unplugging and questions and no good answers and the outside chatter and the birds not being at fault lasted so long that I forgot what his last comments were. Oh now I remember, he said I might like to call Dynex and ask them for help. I might not like to call Dynex and ask them for help either. I can only imagine the LWSM. Unable to make ice water. Whole nother topic there... ice water. I know nother is maybe not a real word but I like it.

I am rambling but it seems to have helped the situation tremendously. 

I may journey to the local router store and purchase a router at the end of my busy day at work. Whole nother topic there... 

Sincerely with or without chatter,

Deb

Thumb Up

I just noticed today how totally weird my thumb looks when I am using scissors. Looks like it is waving to a crowd as if on a paper float in a parade. I did not know thumbs originally came from parades. Wondered. 

And why don't I have two thumbs? I do. But I mean on each hand. Guess it would make a difficult time with toilet paper or picking the nose. Might poke my eye out. I don't know. Seems a second thumb would be of service. If you lost one, you got an extra. That is a bonus. I lose stuff sometimes. 

One could hitch while thumping. Marvelous ability! 

And the thumb is so overworked. Bless it's little heart. Amazing thumb joint I must say. Speaking of joints. 

Should there be an aspirin for the thumb? Sure should. Watch. Somebody will invent it and I thought of it first.

Rule to live by... Keep your thumbs by your side and that is exactly where you will find them when you need them.

I ought to know. I needed mine today to cut paper with my scissors. Funny looking little thumb. Maybe my thumb is mad and is ranting in 'thumb'. Who is listening? Thumb people. So we are all listening to our thumbs basically is what I am saying to you today. The thumb rules.

Thumb Up!

DEB

Painting

Not what you are thinking. Although I did paint my kitchen wall a beautiful rich red at the beginning of this year. And was going to paint my other bedroom wall a purple shade but as of now I only have the paint sample tiles :/ Sometimes I hold one up and eyeball as if the wall was painted and somehow I feel satisfied.

As a little girl I pencil drew horses and cats and trees and such. Oh and cars! Loved that! And eyes. Neat. As I lived life I would draw to chill out but I wish I had been devoted. 

My gosh, when I draw a simple cat it finishes as something of a rabbit/man/kangaroo :/ So I only draw one for fear the second would show signs of a fourth entity. Maybe the aliens are communicating with me. Maybe I should publish my drawings so the humans will not be in shock when the aliens surface. Maybe I won't. I will hold one up and eyeball as if the aliens have returned and lessen my shock. 

As one can detect, I am a thinker. I can sit and think for hours. Nothing comes of it but I can say I am a good thinker. I think. I ask myself questions in complete sentences with proper punctuation. Don't ask. I think in color. My abilities are endless. I reply in complete sentences. Even asking the same question twice. Repetition is important. I may have mentioned this before, but I was just thinking about it.

Must now think of painting in color.